The Girl They Never Knew
by Caelum Malfoy
Summary: SHLOE. Updated! Chloe and Shawn pass notes.
1. THE GIRL THEY NEVER KNEW

Chapter One - THE GIRL THEY NEVER KNEW   
  
  
It was late, nearly three in the morning, and Chloe Lane rose out of bed and retrieved the small package from where she had hidden it in an old shoe tucked away in her closet. She crawled back into bed, package still in hand, and from within the brown paper she pulled a blade the length of her thumb, shining in moonlight that poured in from the window.  
  
Chloe placed the bag to her side and deposited a towel that she had taken from the linen closet onto her lap. Taking the blade in between her thumb and index finger, she began to make smooth, methodical slashes along her inner thigh, the only thoughts in her head echoes of all the torment that she had ever endured.  
  
Ghoul girl.   
  
Vampira.  
  
Each incision she made went deeper, and blood had began to flow onto the towel.  
  
And she couldn't feel any pain.  
  
Chloe was suppressing tears only of all the ceaseless mockery, the lies, the hatred. And that made her hate herself even more. The cutting was a punishment, really. One that she couldn't either feel comprehend. No pain could match the way that she felt inside. Perhaps that was a reason why she cut - she just wanted to feel alive. She wanted to live happily and free of hatred, free of the world.  
  
And sometimes, she didn't want to live at all. Those times she aided with medicines, taking sometimes an entire bottle of aspirin, smiling at death until Nancy or Craig would find her, only half-alive and cart her off to the hospital and force her to survive.  
  
Chloe was starting to think that the next time it happened, she'd have to do something different. Something to kill her instantly, like placing a loaded gun in her mouth and firing.  
  
Then there were times of dementia when she actually thought that she mattered. But every kind word, every friendly embrace… all lies.  
  
And she had fallen for each and every single on of them. Stupid. So stupid. Philip had never really cared. In fact, he had downright reviled her before her transformation. Belle was too self-absorbed to even begin to have concern for anyone other than herself. She always ran around, smiling prettily, knowing and basking in the fact that everyone was whispering about how gorgeous she was.  
  
Each of these things contributed to her secret self-loathing and were also the reason she could look back on each and every self-inflicted scar and only feel regret because she hadn't had the courage to press the razor deeper.  
  
Tonight she wouldn't have the courage either, but deep down in her heart, she knew it was coming. Her death day was approaching quicker than she had anticipated and that was the only thought in her head that made her smile.  
  
She had written and rewritten her suicide letter in a hundred different ways, but had eventually decided that no one would care enough to read it. The even might not notice she was missing, and would find a rotten corpse years later, the weapon that had delivered the death still firmly gripped in her hand.  
  
Then, knowing Nancy, she'd run around the funeral, begging for sympathy and everyone would go home talking about what a good mother she seemed to be, completely disregarding the fact that it took Nancy four years before she went upstairs and accidentally found her dead body rotting in the bed.  
  
Chloe sighed. Knowing Nancy, she'd be more concerned with the bed sheets than the fact that Chloe had killed herself. She had a humorous mental image of her running around, screaming about the bloody comforter.  
  
The red numbers of her digital clock told her it was nearly four, now. She'd spent an entire hour cutting, more than she ever usually did. Blood was starting to dry on her inner leg, but she still wrapped the towel around it, just to be safe. It wouldn't do good to get blood on the sheets. She took the dirty blade and placed it in the trash can underneath her desk. The rest of the blades she deposited back into their shoe, in the very back of her closet.  
  
This wasn't the first time she had cut. In fact, this was an experience that happened for Chloe pretty regularly. It was her secret, the only one she'd hold to her death. She couldn't imagine what she'd do if anyone discovered it. It was her solace, the only thing in her life that kept her head on straight. Without that, she didn't think she could handle any of it.  
  
Tomorrow morning she'd put on her make-up and a cute little dress, she'd smile to people and participate in futile teenage banter and no one would ever know what she had done the night before. No one would ever find out what she was.   
  
She crawled back into bed and smoothed the blankets around her, knowing full well she'd never be able to sleep after such a night. She never did, but only stared into the darkness until it was time for her to arise, and wonder what all the people of Salem would think about the girl they never knew. 


	2. NOT LIKE THE REST

Chapter Two - NOT LIKE THE REST  
  
Night faded very quickly into day, and at promptly six o'clock, Chloe crawled from the bed to take her morning shower. Nancy and Craig could never see how she did it, but they also never knew what happened during the nights.  
  
Going to school that morning was not something that she was looking forward to. The fresh cuts had her limping, and no doubt Philip will come looking for her, ready to hold her hand, grope at her in the hallways, and treat her like some kind of trophy.  
  
Then there would be the matter of the perpetually overdramatic Belle, who would undoubtedly start her ranting and raving about her insignificant problems that generally were derived from her anger in not finding the perfect shade of lipstick to match her pretty, blonde existence.  
  
All the others were essentially unbearable: Jan, Mimi, Jason… they all seemed to contribute to her daily headache. The only person she could find any succor in was Shawn, and usually he was being chased around by Belle and the rest of the idiots of Salem High. His ability to pacify her horrible moods seemed unreal bearing in mind how many people spent most of their time trying to do just that. Perhaps it was just pheromones, but whenever Shawn Brady was around, her malevolent attitude and continuous, negative critical remarks toward herself seemed to just dissipate.  
  
It was too bad he couldn't be around her all the time, then she wouldn't be in so much pain as she slipped into a pair of jeans. The denim was tight around her thighs, and that did little to facilitate her wounds. At the very least, it would keep the cuts from opening, and the wound wouldn't produce any blood. It would be hideously embarrassing if she was found out because of foolish carelessness.   
  
Then Nancy and Craig would send her off to some behavioral hospital, all the while, selfishly asking themselves what they had done to deserve such an unstable daughter. They were good parents. It couldn't have been THEIR fault.  
  
Chloe snorted. That would probably be their exact reaction.   
  
Looking back, Chloe decided it wasn't reasonable to place all the blame on them. They really did try to be good parents, even if it wasn't their cup of tea. No, most of it had to do with all the harassment from her peers, and conceivably, it may have to do with something chemical.   
  
But Chloe really didn't think so.   
  
She thought she detected a car pull up in the driveway, and the beeping horn confirmed it. Philip had come to pick her up in his ridiculously expensive sport's car, ready to cart her off to the asylum that Salem called a school. Only in this asylum, the inmates all Gap clothing and too much make-up.  
  
Chloe hurried down the stairs and out to his car, where she forced herself  
to kiss his revolting lips and prayed that she didn't gag as he gripped the back her neck to pull her closer.   
  
Philip pulled away from her bearing his unusually repulsive smile, then put the car in gear. She sure hoped that he was satisfied. Chloe wasn't looking forward to kissing him again anytime soon. It wasn't that he was a bad kisser, it was just that kissing HIM made her nauseated. It'd be different if it was with someone she actually liked.  
  
Before she could restrain herself, her mind wandered off to the day when she and Shawn had shared a kiss. It had been soft and friendly, but she still recollected the kiss as being the best of her life. But then, that wasn't much when she remembered the only other person she HAD kissed was Philip. Ugh.  
  
Philip's entire presence sickened her; from the way he drove to get people to notice him, to how he always felt it necessary to keep his hands on her at all times. At that current moment, he had one hand sliding up and down her inner thigh, perilously close to her crotch. He must have thought that the entire action aroused her, as his new mission was to find out how fast he could get into her pants. His movements were doing nothing to turn her on. In fact, she was in a great deal of pain as his fingers moved heavily over her cuts.  
  
She decided to keep her mouth shut. The school was less that a minute away and she wasn't in the mood to argue with him. He was ruthless in an argument. He always had to have the last word and he ALWAYS had to win.   
  
He pulled into the parking lot still going the speed he had been on the road. She'd NEVER get used to his driving. He was a maniac. She winced as he narrowly avoided running straight into someone. Finally and thankfully, he pulled into a space. Chloe retrieved her bag from the back seat, and climbed out of the car. Now that he wasn't driving, this would mean more kissing and groping, but she was just thankful that her feet were on solid ground. He grabbed her hand the moment she walked around the car to fall in step with him. She could see the crowd hanging out for the first bell to ring, and almost smiled when Jason caught sight of her, murmured something to Mimi and Jan, then walked off together.  
  
Chloe and Philip approached Belle and Shawn, much to her misery. Belle seemed as if she was going off on one of her tiffs, and sure enough, when she was in hearing range, Chloe could distinctly discern her soliloquy about her latest shopping extravaganza.  
  
When the finally reached the pair, Belle waved before going back to her story.   
  
"So I went into Wet Seal and they had the dress that I wanted, but it was in this horrible shade of yellow. So I got the other two instead. Blues and pinks look so much better on me."  
  
Philip was embracing Chloe from behind, his hands hooked casually over her waist, his fingertips running along the hem of her top. She could feel his breath on her neck, trying not to cringe at the little kisses he was pressing there. She looked at Shawn who rolled his eyes at her, obviously pained that Belle was still on her shopping tangent.   
  
"So anyway," Belle went on. "I went shopping for a new bathing suit, and I thought, whoa… pool party. I asked my dad about it when I came home and he said it was a great idea. I'm planning it for Saturday, five PM until dawn. And Chloe, I picked out the most amazing suit for you. It's at my house and you can try it on when you come over tonight. It's really cute. It's a bikini with the ties and all. I got red because I know that Philip really likes you in that color and…" Suddenly, in the middle of speaking, she checked her watch. "Oh, God. I promised Ms. Parker I'd be in early to retake the test from Monday." She busied herself, gathering up her book bag and purse.  
  
"I'll go with you, Belle. I need to talk to her about the notes from yesterday," Philip told her. He spun Chloe around, held her face in his hands and kissed her deeply.  
  
Chloe didn't return the kiss because she was trying to contemplate the best way to keep Philip's lips off of her.  
  
When she and Shawn were alone, she allowed her disgust to show. "Ugh. I hate it when he does that."  
  
"Does what?" Shawn prompted.  
  
"Kisses me. He's repulsive."  
  
Shawn had heard this story many times before. "Chloe, why don't you break it off? If it made me sick to kiss someone, I don't think I'd do it again."  
  
"Why don't you break it off with Motormouth?" She countered. "I don't see her crying.  
  
Shawn grimaced. "Belle is a very sensitive person, Chloe. I can't just break up with her. I can't get a word in edgewise."  
  
Chloe laughed, appreciating the joke. "Are you planning to go to this party of hers?"  
  
"It seems like I'll have to. She'd kill me if I didn't. You?"  
  
"Well, I suppose I must. After all, she didn't buy me a suit in Philip's favorite color for no reason."  
  
Shawn rolled his eyes. "She always does that. Not just to you, to everyone. The other day she bought me this hideous shirt - something that I would NEVER wear - and made me wear it out to dinner with her. Honest to God, she goes into relationships trying to change people into what she wants them to be. That's not what relationships are about. You're supposed to love the person the way they are from the very start, not after you've altered them to you're liking."  
  
Chloe frowned, realizing how true his words were. "Philip tries to change me. He says that we're going to get married, live in a big house, have four children, and that he'd give me whatever I wanted. If he really loved me for who I was, he'd know that ISN'T what I want."  
  
Shawn stared into her eyes, making her shift uncomfortably. "What is it that you want, Chloe?"  
  
She swallowed and returned his stare. "I want to be free."  
  
As if on cue, the first bell began to ring and students all over started to work their way into the building. Shawn broke the connection between their eyes. No, their very souls.  
  
He made a soft sound in the back of his throat and touched her bare shoulder before making his way to class. "I'll see you later, Chloe."  
  
Then he disappeared into the throes of bodies, and left her standing alone, trying frantically to understand why her skin heated with his touch. 


	3. PASSING NOTES

Chapter Three - PASSING NOTES  
  
A/N - This is my story and I'll depict Philip and Belle however I want to. This is my vision, and to me, the story necessitates their personas as I have described them. That is all. Thank you.  
  
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Her first class of the day was Algebra, which she hated, and today was no different. Math was never one of her strong points. She didn't see how it could be anyone's strong point. Most of the time, she busied herself with homework for other classes, and, in the rarest moments, she'd drift off to sleep, dreaming of things that she could never quite remember when she roused.  
  
Today, she just sat, doodling in her notebook, not really drawing anything so much as fooling around. Then, out of nowhere, she found herself writing Shawn's name at the top of a clean sheet of paper. She couldn't recall wanting to write the name, she just remembered the action of swiping the pen across the page. And now that she was staring down at the black letters, she had to question why she had wrote the word.  
  
To write him a letter, she told herself. Chloe set out to do so, but the words would not come. What could she say to Shawn? She didn't want to talk about Philip or Belle, nor her classes or her parents. Perhaps there wasn't a reason she wrote his name. Perhaps it was just something that she had done out of boredom with no real logic behind it.  
  
Instead of wasting the rest of the class period contemplating a name, she poured herself into her work, doing her very best to just avoid any motivation to write his name again. Or worse, analyze why she had done it at all.  
  
It was astonishing to know how quickly the period passed when she actually did her work. The bell rang and she fell in step behind everyone, knowing good and well that Philip would be standing at the door, waiting to jam his tongue down her throat, and walk her to their next class. She hated having a class with Philip. He insisted on sitting behind her so that he could run his fingers through her hair, rub her back, or anything else he could get away with. She recalled one time while the class watched an A and E documentary about Shakespeare, he had palmed her breasts in his hands, trying to get a hand between her legs before she pushed his hands away.  
  
Philip was standing at the doorway, leaning on the frame, smiling at her as she approached. Chloe allowed him to kiss her, to run his hands along her chest through her shirt. He broke the kiss, smoothed his hands down her back and stuck them in her back pockets.   
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
Chloe forced a grin. "Yep."  
  
The only positive thing about English class was the fact that Shawn sat right next to her and was a habitual note-passer. Chloe enjoyed reading his little jokes, which were mainly about Philip. Shawn didn't seem to mind that Philip was sitting directly behind her. As he had said in one of his first notes to her:  
  
'It's not like he's paying attention to what we're writing anyway. He's too busy sucking your neck and trying to cop a feel.'  
  
Chloe smiled at the memory. He had also mentioned that Belle and Philip seemed incredibly similar in the way they show affection - both felt the impulsive need to see how many people will watch them grope their significant other.  
  
Shawn didn't seem too pleased when he saw that Philip was up to his usual antics that day. As soon as Philip sat down behind Chloe, his hands started rubbing her shoulders, occasionally running through her hair. Almost instantly Shawn whipped out a piece of paper and pen. He scribbled something, then slipped the folded sheet of paper onto Chloe's desk.  
  
'Why don't you tell him to stop?'  
  
Chloe reached for a pen from her bag.  
  
'I'm doing my best to avoid arguing with him today. If I tell him to stop, he's going to give me his whole 'If-you-loved-me-you'd-let-me-do-it' speech. I'm not in the mood.'  
  
Shawn's brows knitted as he read what she had wrote. 'Guys give that lecture when they want sex. Are you going to let him fuck you to avoid an argument, too?'  
  
'Be nice, Shawn. And you know good and well I wouldn't sleep with Philip. I'd rather be slathered in honey and stuck down an anthill.'  
  
Shawn couldn't suppress his smile. In fact, it took great effort on his part to keep from laughing out loud. 'All right, but you should really say something to Philip for my benefit. I'm getting rather sick at the sight of him with his hands up your shirt. It's gross. Not what's under your shirt, but him feeling them.'  
  
It was Chloe's turn to laugh.  
  
'Are you giving my cleavage a compliment.'  
  
'Yes. You also have some other startling attributes, Pretty Eyes.'  
  
It was meant as a joke, but Chloe found it really hard to take it as such. After all, Shawn was the only person in Salem that she remotely got along with. It took her a moment to find the words to reply.  
  
'Thanks, Shawn.'  
  
A very silly response, especially since she had put so much time into thinking of an answer.  
  
'No problem, Chloe. I'm really sorry about the nasty comments about Philip, though. It's just… you're one of my closest friends, and I just feel this overwhelming need to protect you. I don't like Philip, and I REALLY don't like the way he tries to manipulate you. You don't deserve that, Chloe. You warrant so much more than an asshole like him.'  
  
There were no words for the feelings she felt for Shawn after a remark like that. He wanted to protect her. He thought she deserved better than a person like Philip. Was he talking about someone specific? Was he talking about… him?  
  
'Well, I'm just glad that you're with Belle. She seems to make you happy.'  
  
There was a hesitation on Shawn's part before he began to write.  
  
'I hope that was sarcasm, Chloe. You know good and well that Belle irritates me half to death. You know the more I think about it, the more I really want to break it off with her. I just don't know how to do it. You know me, Chloe. Tell me what I should do.'  
  
Chloe had never broken up with anyone before. And at the moment, she was just pretty dazed at the fact that Shawn was saying some unbelievable things to her, and that he wanted to break up with Belle in the same breath. Could the two be somehow related?  
  
No. She pushed the thought out of her head. Shawn was a friend. A close friend. Why would someone like him be interested in a person like HER?  
  
'I think that you should tell her the truth. Tell her exactly what you feel. If you don't, it's just going to sneak up on you again.'  
  
Then came his response:  
  
'Thanks, Chloe.' 


End file.
